The unmade Fawlty Towers movie
by RPQ
Summary: My Fawlty Towers movie. Idea by John Cleese on 3 disc DVD set. Put in Monty Python because of no Fawlty Towers Sction. Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

**Fawlty Towers the unmade movie**

**Idea by John Cleese on Fawlty Towers 3 disc DVD set.**

**Scripted by RPQ**

**Basil is having a usual day. Guests puking on inspector's clothes, Doors being knocked down by rubbish builders who he hired because they were cheap and Sybil not shutting up on the phone among other things.**

**Manuel!**

**Si?**

**Take these cases up to room 21 please?**

**Que? (Canned laughter)**

**Take… up to … room… 21.**

**Oh. Si. Build 21 rooms?**

**You stupid Spanish cloth eared bint! DID YOU LOSE YOUR BRAINS?**

**Si. Find cloth to put lost brain back in head?**

**Oh I give up! Sybil can you tell that Spanish bastard to take the cases to 21?**

**Oh sure dear. OH I KNOW! (Can I get that woman to shut up I mean come on she has been on the phone for 26 years but mind you that is how long we have been off air. CURSE US BEING TOO GOOD!)**

**Basil leaves. As soon as he's gone Sybil puts the phone down and tells Manuel "You know the plan? Si. Write note for Mr Fawlty inviting him to family see. Then you give Fawlty note and you go see me family. Right. Oh Mrs Fawlty me written letter already.**

**Thanks. Oh Basil, Basil? BASIL! What are you doing?**

**Oh nothing dear just destroying the car because it won't FUCKING START! **

**Where were you going with the car? **


	2. Manuel's note

**A friends house dear. **

**Basil all your friends have been dead for 26 years because they all died from the food we served them. **

**Oh really? I thought it was Manuel hitting them on the head with our cooking pans!**

**Well yes that too but mostly the food we served them. Well anyway here's a note from Manuel. Read it. **

**Dear it's not another one saying he's gay and he loves me? Or he's dead?(Oh god please be dead!)**

**READ IT BASIL!**

**Fine (Basil reads note in very over the top Irish accent)**

**Dear Mr Fawlty**

**I want all of us to go to Barthelona before we all die. I think we will die soon so please? **

**Manuel(P.S I'm gay and love you.)**


	3. Getting on the plane and the terrorist

**Manuel has been reading the note over Fawlty's shoulder. **

**Please? Please? Please?**

**PLEASE? Please?**

**Mr Fawlty? Mr Fawlty? Mr Fawlty? MR FAWLTY?**

**FUCK OFF YOU BLOODY SPAINSH MORON-ISH GIT BRAINED BASTARD!**

**BASIL! Come on? There are proper hotels? No! Swimming pools? NO! Bikini Girls? OK!**

**(They close up leaving Polly in charge of declining clients' offers. After packing they get on the plane after 8 hours of being interrogated by police because Basil insisted on taking his WW2 Fake Antique Bombs and Gas mask.)**

**Hello this is your captain speaking I hope you enjoy yourselves after having had to wait 8 hours on this flight from Middlesex and on to Scotland and then Barcelona. There are no safety instructions because LoganAir wouldn't pay for them.**

**(8 hours later)**

**9 Hours to go till we land in Barcelona for your info. **

**(3 hours later)**

**ALL RIGHT! THIS IS A TERRORIST ATTACK SO TURN AROUND AND CRASH SOMEWHERE IN THE HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT! DO IT!**

**No bloody terrorist ruins Basil Fawlty's holiday! You picked the wrong plane to hijack, mister.**

**(Basil has a wrestling match with the terrorist and wins)**


	4. Epilouge

**Excuse me everyone but I'm afraid we are going to have to go back to Middelsex. **

**NO! Take us to Barcelona! (Basil uses the terrorist's knife to threaten the pilot) (They go to Barcelona but Basil gets taken away by police assuming him to be the terrorist) No! I'm not the terrorist. I'm the guy who stopped him. There is an easy way to tell if you are the terrorist. PILOT! Is this the terrorist? What? No that's not the terrorist he stopped him. But he threatened me with the knife after putting the real terrorist in the toilet. Whatever. You're going to jail anyway. Why? Well someone has to go to jail. I don't like showing up empty-handed. **

**(Upon hearing of Basil's arrest Sybil had a all-night long party every night till he came back and Manuel commited suicide. Polly didn't care but became really famous by making a drawing of the real terrorist drowning in the toilet which was sold for 6 million pounds. **


End file.
